How to dress for Halloween as your favorite MIA artwork

You could don a hockey mask or paint yourself in zombie blood. Or you could class things up a bit. Go as your favorite MIA artwork. With a few clicks and overnight delivery you could give the kids who treat-or-treat at your door something they’ll remember for the rest of their lives—yes, a full-size candy bar—and a little art history, too.

1) Doryphoros. Let’s begin with the easiest one to pull off, literally, though answering the door will become a moral quandary. What you need: a fig leaf.


2) Rembrandt’s Lucretia. This is the most obviously horrific of the bunch, but the key is the facial expression—utterly expressionless. We recommend: a chemise, a Deluxe Disappearing Knife, and botox.


3) Nara Yoshimoto’s Your Dog. Another easy one. Though here again, the key is the expression—and the size. What you want is something like this two-person camel, but a dog…. You could do worse, maybe, than this guy’s used Snoopy costume ( says “new” but I wouldn’t believe it).


4) Francis Bacon’s Study for Portrait VI. This is supposed to be a pope. But aim for a Shriner after a grueling day of riding a tiny car in a parade. What you need: a fez, chattering teeth, and a gruesome reckoning with your god.


5) The Studio of Gratifying Discourse. Conceptual costumes can be a drag to explain but have a greater payoff in cleverness points. In this case, you want: an authentic scholar’s rock and this workout video in order to carry around that rock. Some gratifying discourse wouldn’t hurt.

Studio of gratifying discourse