In this exhibition, “In the Presence of Our Ancestors: Southern Perspectives in African-American Art,” I selected a piece by Nellie Mae Rowe titled Rocking Chair. I absolutely adore this piece as it reminds me of my grandma Anita’s apartment from back in the day. Once upon a time, she had a rocking chair in the corner of her living room situated right below the window. Just like this piece here, my grandma also had an abundance of plants in her living room. A record player is also pictured. Of course, my granny had one of those too. The patterns and colors were reminiscent of the crocheted blanket that was laid over her chair. This piece demands a different kind of attention. One that invites me to be present for the story that is being told. I felt instantly warmed and like a grandma’s hug when viewing rocking chair. Nellie Mae utilized crayon, felt tip marker, and pencil to create these moments of her life to share with us. The specific mediums teleported me to my grandma’s living room, where she would sit in her chair and I would be beside her coloring in the coloring books with these same materials.

She always kept something hands-on for us grandkids. Although there isn’t a large human presence here, the still life Nellie Mae has made says otherwise. I would like to suggest that this is a triptych that takes us through snapshots of her life. To the far right is one panel with a window, a rocking chair with no sitter, a dying plant, a black dog, and a record player. The next panel is prolific. An overflowing plant takes center, sitting on a dresser. On both sides appears to be two different kinds of creatures. Butterflies are present, too. Then you see what is perhaps Nellie Mae as a child doing a dig. Her foot is attached to what might be an umbilical cord to her early childhood toys of a baby doll and the classic sock monkey. The last panel to the far left is not as full of life.

I would like to think that she placed herself as an angel to the top left corner. There’s also a theatrical character with their eyes closed. Below that there are three green creatures that have white eyes. Perhaps they too have transitioned and are keeping her company. Nellie Mae Rowe created Rocking Chair after she learned that she had cancer. This piece moved me to create a self portrait for the altar. Here, I have offered a similar reflection of life from the past, present, and future. I often think about my transition and what I will leave behind on this earth when my time comes. This drives me to continue my work as an artist to fulfill my purpose. I want to leave behind paintings that breathe life into any space, to create a legacy for the future generations to come, to be the artist that I needed when I was younger. To welcome viewers to recall moments of the past with their loved ones and to pose questions. Who are you and what is your purpose on this earth?

To the left of the self portrait, you will see me as a younger child wearing Pooh bear overalls and ponytails. To the center, you’ll find a sketch canvas that is a work in progress. To the right, I am pictured in a white dress, working on a painting of a little girl. Lastly, to the bottom right is a philodendron psyllium plant. The white dress I wear proposes a conversation for the afterlife. I do not know what that looks like, but I can only begin to imagine. Perhaps I will return to earth as a butterfly, free like the blue and green one pictured in Nellie Mae’s drawing. I want to believe that this is her, reincarnated as a butterfly who is free of cancer since they both have the same colors and are flying in the same direction. This piece does not make me feel sadness for her. She offers images that feel like self-affirmation, saying that she will be okay in her transition, that she will not be alone. That she has lived a beautiful life and has accepted rather than rejected her destiny. For that, I admire her deeply, for this retrospective full of gratitude.